


PostStuck

by Dead_Not_Dying



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-26
Updated: 2011-08-27
Packaged: 2017-10-20 18:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/215611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dead_Not_Dying/pseuds/Dead_Not_Dying
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a game that creates and destroyes universes, did anyone really expect it to be fair?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Do you fear death?

**Author's Note:**

> Beat the game.  
> Still doomed.  
> Shit.

>Be the thief.

You are now the thief. You and your friends played a game eight(8) years ago. br>You died. br>That really isn't that big of a deal, you are better now, marginally.

Four months ago you ran away from your friends because you got tired of the memories and the guilt. br>You notice you tend to use the human word “friend” because it means less than the troll word “moiral”. br>That says more about you than them really.

You made new “friends”. br>Then your luck ran out. br>Your new “friends” decided to beat you to pulp and leave you for dead. You know that they were not trying to actually kill you. They were suggesting that they could have if they had wanted to.

You are now being carried by your best (the best!) friend who is running through the streets looking for something that doesn’t exist.

Your friend is the biggest lousy goddamn stupid (adorable) derp you have ever known.

      Eg8ert I 8n’t dying! I demand you put me down!!!!!!!!  
      vriska you were bleeding in some dirty alley for what? a day? two? we have to get you to a hospital.  
      Trolls aren’t as weak as humans Eg8ert, I’ve 8een through worse and I have a lot of 8lood. I have all the 8lood! All of it!!!!!!!!  
      that doesn’t even make sense vriska. okay seriously how do i get out of these alleys?  
      This is Downside E8ert, it’s nothing but alleyw8ys. Also trolls don’t have hospitals remember?  
      wait that wasn’t a prank? i thought that was one of those lame troll jokes.  
      Yes that was totally 8 joke Egbert, because this is tooooooootally the time to 8e joking around.

A little dopey grin breaks through (8reaks through) for a moment, bringing color back into your world. Aaaaaaaand now it’s gone again, that stupid worried frown is back. Does he really think you’re dying? You’re just bleeding, it’s not a big deal. Your broken arm isn’t a big deal either, or your ribs.Okay so they did mess you up pretty good.

>Remove the derp’s doubts and tell him to let you go, this is highly undignified.

Okay how should you go about doing that exactly?

>You could always just manipulate him.

NO W8Y!Even if the humans didn’t have some kind of weird immunity to your manipul8ions (manipu- oh no wait that was right) he’s........ br>John.

He trusted you when no one else did, even after you had killed him. He is always there for you, even when you hadn’t thought to ask, or were afraid he would hate you. Even now he’s… wow you need to get off this track of thought immediately.

>Enough of this break free from his adorable clutches this instant!

Adorable clutches? How can clutches be adorable? br>Wait the way he’s carrying you… it’s kind of like… he’s cradling you.So yeah you definitely have to 8reak out of this immediately!

Oh shit you punched him, no don’t apologize just roll with it. br>You hit him because he was acting stupid again, yeah go with that.Oh no now he’s apologizing, damn it don’t do that John, its fine really.

      Stop your 8lu88ering Eg8ert. I am fine, if they had wanted me dead they would have 8een dead. Just got to take a 8eating every now in then in this game. You can’t win if you’re afraid of getting hit.

He rubs his jaw but smiles just a bit.

Geeze Egbert.

Whatever this is good, situational awkwardness defeated, sort of, now you can-Crap you don’t have enough strength to stand up anymore do you?That would be a no.

The heir catches you under your arm. Well at least this way of carrying you is little more dignified even though anyone watching you would assume you’re some kind of inebri8.

You hobble arm in arm down a few more avenues before you realize that you have no idea where he is taking you. Does he even have anywhere to go in Downside?

      Eg8ert where exactly are we going?  
      dunno probably dave’s place.  
      Ugh the stupid coolkid.W8 does he even still go 8y “coolkid”?  
      haha that would be kinda hilarious huh? maybe he would, you know for the sake of irony.  
      Whatever you say E8ert.

A few minutes later you hear… what exactly rave music? Coming from a building off in the distance. Down a wider than usual alley a throng of horns and bright colors push towards a club called…  
Oh God really?The Clockworks, wow Strider real inspidered (NO that was bad, 8ad pun, worst pun). W8, you have been here for almost four months and never heard of this place. But John guides you past the alley.

     E8ert didn’t you say we were going to Strider’s place?  
      yeah that’s right, i think, maybe.  
      8ut I, didn’t we just pass it? The Clockworks?  
      Heheh is that what it’s called? that’s so stupid. no i think that’s his club i’m looking for his apartment i’m pretty sure it’s around here somewhere. uh, maybe i’m a bit lost.  
      May8e may8e may8e may8e may8e MAY8E MAY8E MAY8E BLUH!  
      ........John did you even know Strider had 8 clu8?  
      well yeah.  
      8ut you didn’t know what it was called?  
      that’s right. wait no, no i didn’t know what it was called.  
      ........John how did you know WHERE I was in Downside? Or even that I was in Downside in the first place?  
      huh? well i guess i didn’t.  
      i just wanted to find you so i kept walking.  
      heheh this is it, this is definitely the right place.

He leads you in to a building that looks run down and falling apart on the outside but has a two story lobby and an enormous fountain on the inside. You kind of love Downside, the city basically requires all its residents to be two-faced and deceitful. How had someone like John survived here long enough to find you?

More importantly just how did he find you? He doesn’t seem to know, is this just his postgame powers at work? Weren’t his powers the first to go out of all the players?

Maybe they didn’t actually go away. But that isn’t how they worked during the game. So what they just changed? Mutated? Instead of bringing things to him it lead him to what he was trying to find, but that’s a space player power right? Serendipity? He would still need to call forth his powers which he didn’t seem to be doing. But wasn’t that power passive to begin with?

W8 this is confusing and you’re soooooooo tired of this stupid postgame powers bullshit.

Oh just look at this freaking desk troll, he’s going to be an asshole you just know it.

      Hiss iss a private rhesss’idencce ssssir. I am afraid you and your guessst will hhave to be ehsss’chorted of the premisesssss if you do not hhave perm’hissssion to be here.

Oh Gog and with annoying accent to boot (8oot).

      i’m here looking for my friends place. does dave- no wait that would be stupid. does anyone by the name of...“Sword” live here?

“Sword”? That’s stupid. Wait that would make you “Dice”, that’s so 8adass! 8ut John would be “Hammer”, that would be completely adorable.You could introduce him as your bodyguard, "Watch out you don’t want to make my 8odyguard Derp Hammer angry" Your enemies would die laughing. Well some would die in a more literal way

      Hmm, I chhannot chonfirm or deny whether or not DJ Sssssord livesss hhere or not… Whhithhout thhe appropriate phasswhord of chhoursse.  
      right the password um...heheh, it’s...

Pleeeeeeeease, Dave so obviously lives here. You could just wait outside for him to either leave or come back, or you climb up the fire escape and 8reak into the most ironic looking apartment… probably the penthouse. God you hope you get to break into a penthouse.

      ...plush smuppet ass.

What the hell was THAT John!? He looks so sure of himself, he totally just said the words "plush smuppet ass" without a single hint of irony. He is completely serious.

8ut the SnakeTroll looks confused and what is that? Is he actually nervous? No way, that couldn’t be the password, even for the sake of human irony that’s going too far.

      Phhardon me sssir, floor s’hissx room twelve hiss the rhoom you are ssearching fhor. Ssssorry fhor the inconnivanccce.  
       no it’s trouble really, but could you maybe send up a first aid kit in a few minutes?

The SnakeTroll concierge douchebag glares at you, sizing you up, judging how weak of a troll you are. What a huge disappointment you are to all trolls. How, somehow, you must be the worst troll ever born (8orn, no you know what forget it).

Whatever, at least your bleeding stopped, when did it stop exactly and is that a good or bad sign? You don’t care anymore, about the bleeding or being judged by some strange troll, you’re too tired for this bullshit.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that, you don’t care at all, because that has worked out so well before.

      my friend got carried away again, forced into auspistance, you understand right?  
      Oh yess of coursssse, ssso sssorry my dear. We may hhhaave something normally ressserved for our hhhuman inhhabitantsss, I believe it’ssss called a Firssst Aid Khhit, I will ssssend it right up.  


Gr8 (augh! Great) so according to John you’re now some kind of doormat auspistice getting the crap beat out of her presumably by the two Black/RedRomers she is trying to keep them from killsnogging each other.  
Though the SnakeTroll does look genuinely sorry for judging you so quickly, thanks John.  
You should probably thank him l8er for making you look a pathetic idiot rather than some weak burden.

He drags you to the elevator.

This is so stupid. He should have just left you in that alley. He should have left you to die. Being around you is dangerous, it always has been.

>Thief, do you fear death?

No not really. Not my own anyway.


	2. Insomniac with Dave Strider

>Wait that’s it?

Yes that is it. She loses consciousness soon after due to the blood loss and I cannot connect anymore. If you are willing to wait a moment I will try again.

>That blows!  
>> Okay I let you look at them again now you should really get moving soon. You have a large group of enemies heading your way.  
>Don’t care, this is more important. Now is there anyone near those two you can connect to?  
>>Great you pissed her off again didn’t you?

Yes it would appear so.  
Since that answer works for both questions so I will refrain from repeating myself.

>Then do it already.  
>>You are aware that what you are doing is a waste of time right? They can’t help us.  
>They can. They will. Shut it.  


Sigh. You are now the hero of time.

>> That's kinda ironic.  
>Be quiet!  
>Wait which hero of time?

As of right now I can only be both of them.

     dave you can’t keep this up  
     cant say i know what youre talking about their aradia  
     this is by no stretch of the imagination healthy  
     come on you know if i stop laying down ill beats even for a few minutes we would have a global disaster on our hands ladies around the world start weeping for reasons they dont even know men would start rioting in the street with torches and pitchforks demanding more strider babies hole up in their respective wombs refusing to be born into a world where my music isnt playing  
     not your best rant there dave  
     whatever its not like im trying to impress you or anything  
     you are totally trying to impress me! and for once you were failing miserably!  
     you need to sleep!  
     it shouldnt even be possible for us to be able to talk to each other while you are still awake  
     do you have any idea how bad it is to be in your dreambubble while you are not asleep  
     nope do you  
     well no  
     but it cant be good considering that the other usual way is to be dead

Why are you even having this conversation? She knows (you know) why you (he) don’t (doesn’t) want to sleep. Everyone retained at least some memories from the game but as time players you have access to certain memories certain mem0ries painful ones. Painful in an emotional sense, in a mental sense, in a physical sense it wouldn’t even be a stretch to say it was painful spiritually as well.  
you remember how the metal felt scraping against your heart but no blood poured from your wounds, well not that one. The cold blade hurts every time you put it back but you have to because it hurts more when its out, its a part of what you are now. y0u remember how the metal felt gripping y0ur heart but it was his bl00d that p0ured 0ut, well it may have been his bl00d. Y0ur h0t ir0n fingers hurt but y0u must rem0ve the unnatural mass, it isn’t a part 0f what y0u are anym0re.  
A thousand deaths it usually only takes a single cut but there have been so many single cuts, slowly bleeding out. A th0usand deaths s0 many, all br0ken, shattered and t0rn apart but still awake, sl0wly fading 0ut.  
Then in your darkest hour, when the memories threatened you devour you whole you remember a smile in red (a smirk in green). You sought and found the one who could understand. But only in your dreams, only when you are both asleep do the visions stop haunting you.

     dave have you been waiting up for me  
     if i answer that do we have to have another one of those awkward troll conversations  
     no we dont need to have a feelings jam but had i known i would have tried to visit your dreambubble more often so we could sleep together  
     wow didnt know you were that easy to get in bed  
     i mean in hindsight it makes perfect sense and after all im just like catnip to you troll girls am i right  
     but still im almost disappointed in your lack of willpower  
     what oh wait i didnt mean  
     now your just trying to annoy me!  
     try and prove that  
     but say i were how bad did i burn you  
     yes you got me okay!  
     i am totally burned now, scorched, look at me im like an extra crispy human cluckbeast over here!  
     you should take a victory nap  
     you can gloat all over the dreambubbles about how bad you got me  
     yeah you know i got you bad aradia  
     alright ill go home right now if it makes you happy  
     ill see you at my place dreamgirl

>Okay stop! I know exactly where this is going so stop before you describe any sloppy makeouts!

Mature of you. You realize that they are in the same room or even the same city, physical contact of any kind is simply impossible.

>They’re in each other’s heads and that’s bad enough.  
>I told you to go to the nearest player so why didn’t you take me to the heir?

How do I put this?  
He is otherwise currently preoccupied.

>What does that mean?  
>>Wow you are really bad at reading the mood huh?  
>>Think about it, he’s alone in an apartment with a girl he has feelings for and the girl reciprocates those feelings on some level. Also I’d imagine both could be feeling quite venerable right now and could probably do with some… comforting.  
>>Understand?  
>Oh God I don’t want to hear this!

I can assure you what you assume to be happening and what I actually meant are two different things. Or did you forget that at this moment Ms. Serket is unconscious and that Mr. Egbert is not a- what is the word?

>>Scumbag, asshole, freak, pervert, motherfucker? Give me a minute I could probably come up with more.

No those words will suffice thank you that will be all.

>>No problem anytime.

The reason I cannot connect to John now is because I seem to be connected to him already.

>Um what?

It seems that a connection to Mr. Egbert has already been made by a future me. Actually several connections have been made throughout his timeline. I am having difficulty locating a moment in his timeline that I can view although I will eventually reach the point in my timeline where I am slatted to connect to him.

>>Haha that’s so stupid.  
>Wait so because were so busy in the future observing everything he does we can’t see what he is doing now? The future us are so inconsiderate!

     tell me im still halucinating  
     oh hey dave! um welcome home. sorry we kinda let ourselves in  
     way to go egdurp do you know how hard it is to get troll blood out of carpet  
     sorry.  
     Hey I’m right freaking here! Don’t I even get a hello? Or a how did you get in my apartment?  
     no you dont  
     so im guessing you want my help to keep the spidertroll alive what kind of trouble is she in exactly  


>What are you doing?

I was in the middle of telling a story, it is not as if I ever stopped telling the story, why would I even do that? You should have hit pause or something.

>You don’t have a pause button!

A structural oversight.

>What you really need is a mute button for your dumb noise hole.

Rude.

     whatever dont care did they see you take her away  
     uhh if they did would that be a bad thing?  
     gee i dont know john why would a bunch of seedy mobster types knowing who you are be a bad thing  
     its not like you have seen any evidence that they are willing to brutally beat someone to death and then toss them for the crows to pick at  
     I’m still alive, and the 8roken 8ones should heal up soon, or at least not hurt so 8ad.  
     you are a horrible influence on egderp here and you tarnish everything you touch so i dont want to hear you say anything  
     Fuck you strider.  
     dave not cool!  


What an asshole

To be fair he has been unable or unwilling to sleep for several days, has begun hallucinating and now must deal with home invaders one of which is amongst his least favorite people. Just thought you could use some perspective.

>>Wait where did the maid go? She was interesting.  
>No screw that. The conversation that is going on right now is more important. Get back to the story.

She is still there, albeit only in Mr. Strider’s head though she is currently attempting to defuse this hostility of the situation and doing a surprisingly good job all things considered

>Are you two really ignoring me right now? I think I may actually kill you.

Besides she is only able to communicate with one of the three present, it could be rather difficult to transcribe that.  
I was afraid that if I had included her input in this conversation that things could have gotten confusing. How do you wish for me to proceed?

>> Can you please include the maid in the conversation I doubt it will be that confusing.

Very well but I believe I will need something to separate the internal and external dialogues perhaps brackets?

>Do what you want. Back to the story. Now!

     See I told you this was stupid Eg8ert! You’re the only one who would stick their neck out for me and you shouldn’t have even gotten involved in the first place! Lousy goddamn idiotic do8-8y8d g88fy-t88thed L8TTLE DERP!!!!!!!!  
     i am not derp and i’m sure dave will help us any way he can.  


     [well what are you going to do dave  
     if they need money then i can get them money  
     the claim for money is most likely a ruse  
     not on john or even vriskas part but i doubt there are many forgiving dept collectors in the world and most of the ones vriska would know definitely would not be among those few that are  
     im sure they both know that too  
     egbert definitely knows better  
     maybe there looking for back up  
     something serious is going on if john is willing to use vriskas perpetual “distressing damsel” streak as an excuse  
     you think john is keeping secrets  
     yeah i guess i am thats actually kinda a scary thought  
     but if were all together we can probably handle that right? i mean more than just the four of us  
     whats that  
     you dont think that an insomniac dj a comatose time traveler a luckless thief and the king of the derps can win against an uncertain but probably large number of faceless bloodthirsty thugs  
     hehe no i dont ill see who is willing to show up but you have to pick where we should all meet up  
     right they need cash and i need some time to think and maybe actually get some rest  
i know just the place to go]

     alright kiddies heres how this going to go down  
     im going to take you to the clockworks where ill get you some money  
     I doubt you have 80,000,000 at your nightclub?  
     Buh… wuh…  
     eighty million are you serious  
     holy shit serket  
     self control have you heard of it  


     [dave her debt is eight figures she clearly has self control just the wrong kind]

     it’s vriska dave. you know she doesn’t.  
     Wow Eg8ert what do you really think about me?  
     sorry maybe that was a bad joke.  
     actually the clockworks is a chain of nightclubs  
     we have four locations but the one here just went through major renovations and were short on funds so were s o l as      long as we stay here  
     luckily-  
     Don’t use that word around me coolkid.  
     -luckily the one in heat is pretty popular and should have some revenue to spare  
     heat? the clockworks in heat dave? seriously that’s really dumb.  


      [I have to agree with john here  
      heat in the middle of the desert dave  
      that doesnt seem very ironic  
     its double irony real advanced stuff  
     im sure it is dave]

      W8 I know that pl8ce, it’s an o8sis in the middle of the desert. The only realistic way of getting there is by train 8ecause these huge sandstorms knock planes out of the sky.  
      and how do you know about heat  
      Tavros invited me 8 few months ago as an olive 8ranch or something as equally stupid and unnecessary. He wanted to       show off some place he…  
      Oh God really? He owns The Clockworks in heat? Your taking me to Tavros for safety????????  
      sorta  
      well that and a laugh  
      so how about it  
      feel like taking a trip to a sunny hellhole before you get us all killed  
      Siiiiiiiigh can’t 8e worse than staying here can it?  
      alright and since there is no way in hell that im gonna babysit john your coming too  


>>Hey wanna guess what time it is?  
>Damnit! Stop inturupting.  
>>Well if you don’t leave in the next twelve seconds you’re probably gonna die and you seem to be really distracted by this so…

 _Your connection to the Oracle Omninet system has been cut off.  
We are sorry for the inconvenience and hope you have a nice day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just going to assume now that when ever I post a new chapter it will be rife with formating errors on my part.  
> Anyway this was originally chapter one, which means I have been spinning my wheels on it for months now. I hope you injoy the weirdness going on.


	3. John: Check Your Baggage

Excuse me I believe it is time now.

>> Oh has she finished not dying yet?

How exactly would you like me to answer that?

>> What? Oh, what I meant was has she finished swearing yet?

Then my answer is no.

>> Right... well you should probably patch her through anyway huh?  
> I cannot. Fucking. Believe. This shit.

She seems to be taking it rather well do you not agree?

Dear while I appreciate your efforts to keep calm it is probably unhealthy to grind your teeth like that.

> Shut it. When this game is over. The three of us are going to have some words. Some shiny. Pointy. Words.  
>> Honestly I was expecting you to be more pissed off.  
>> I even made you a gift to get back in your good graces after kicking you off.  
> As if you could do anything to get me to forgive you.  
>> Yeah yeah whatever you say.  
>> You ready to get on with this pointless exercise?

Yes.

>> Be the Heir

Troll trains sure are weird. Well actually it may just be their definition of what a train is.

dave what the hell is that?  
its the train to heat  
hahaha no really what is it? it’s not on rails dave.  
so?  


> You were able to connect with the heir? Good hopefully we can settle this once and for all now.  
>> I doubt that but however you want to get your kicks is fine by me.  
> And thanks. I guess.

soooooooo! by the definition of being on treads and looking like it was designed to take an atomic bomb on the chin and keep strutting around all chill coolkid style i can safely say that that right there is a tank!

no wait that’s still not right it’s big enough to eat tanks and crap out iron girders or something. the thing you are calling a train is in reality some sort of mechanical wormbeast and you want us to crawl into its stomach.

Okay your kinda freaking out for no real reason, honestly it’s just a freaky looking train, reel it back in John.

john...  
yes?  
i suggest...  
what?  
you...  
oh gog dammit.  
deal with it

8luh8luh8luh8luh!!!!!!!! All the 8luhs! I still don’t really get why we have to do this. Why are we going all the way to Heat? It’s like a 8teen hoooooooours away, can’t you just have him wire the money to you.  
it has to be done this way, running the clockworks is kinda a shady business  
nitram, captor, gamzee and i all make a profit off of the club but technically no one owns it  
so the less of a trail there is to look at the easier we can all sleep at night  
hell officially it isnt even a real dance club

if anything it’s more of a social club that is really unexclusive about who we allow into our meetings  
also our meetings have sick beats playing nonstop  
and alcohol

honestly the only reason we really pay taxes is so no one looks too closely at how we are able to stay in business in case we are actually breaking a law  
there is a lot we are doing that isnt technically legal but there isn’t anything illegal going on either. at least not any ones we know of troll or human.  
lots of shenanigans are taking place  
you could say all of the shenanigans are taking place serket  
all of them  


Vriska is boggling at Dave, actually you kinda are too. You basically just found out your best friend is some kind of criminal mastermind only instead of doing stuff like robbing banks he commits crimes that somehow end up with giving fluffy kittens to orphans or something.

Coming to a troll theater near you a confused villain performs oddly upright crimes but is stalked by a hard boiled undercover cop played by Nic Cage on orders to assassinate him by a corrupt commissioner. Later the villain and the undercover cop join forces to expose the commissioner. A total of 5 gun fights, 2 Mexican standoffs, 28 explosions, one gratuitous sex scene in a parking lot with a love interest that only has four lines in the movie and 138 expletives. Rated R and Troll NC-17 for excessive reference to pails.

>> I would watch that.  
> You would.

8ut w8 did you s8y you were in cahoots with Gamzee? How does that work? I mean how does he-  
well gamzee is also in on this but he basically spends his share funding the psych ward we all put him in. he doesnt really put anything into the club or take anything for himself. although sometimes he takes a little more of the profits to send to some cash to charities, soup kitchens, orphanages and-  
kittens, fluffy kittens.  
animal shelters  


Strange precognitive streak aside that may have been the dumbest thing you let yourself say, now it’s your turn to be stared at.

egbert that may have been the durpest thing i have ever heard you say

Well Dave looks exactly the same and you can’t tell if he is glaring at you through the shades but you can kind of see his eyebrows so you can guess he is giving you a questioning look and Vriska looks like she can’t decide on whether to laugh or smack the stupid out of you.  
She ends up splitting the difference, punching you playfully and grinning.

That was weird even for you Eg8ert. 

Mental note find Jade and Rose one of them has to know what’s up with your head lately.

> Fuck! He doesn’t know? Great so maybe this was useless after all.  
>> Wait that’s what you were looking for? You want to know why he can all of a sudden see the future or some shit? I mean does it really matter?  
> Sort of. Maybe. It’s complicated. I think I already know I just wanted confirmation. I’ll explain later okay.

ExcusE mE but the I just noticed the name on your bag, Err “Kind Sord” is it? ArE you, could you bE thE DJ Sord?

Danger.  
From what the baggage check girl? Um troll-girl?  
Half-troll, she has horns and a skin tone. Danger.  
Why? From what?  
Half-troll, older than you, but no scars, like none at all. Need you draw a chart to sort out how bad this is? You suddenly notice the lack of security around this terminal. In fact you notice there isn’t any. You realize what the people working here must be capable of. Okay so yeah danger.

yeah thats me and these two are my friend and foe Benedict and Arachne

What is it with trolls and glaring at strangers? Her frown leaves as she turns her attention back to Kind Sord, uhg Dave really? That’s not even ironic it’s just lame.

oh is that so… Err you’rE going to mars? businEss or plEasurE?  
neither and both meeting a friend up there a fellow mixer  


The girl is clearly starstuck so all this blushing and shy glances is understandable but this is uncharacteristically cheesy for Dave, “My friend and my foe” is he seriously trying to flirt? “Hey aqua blooded babe my pale and caliginous quadrants are taken but my flushed quadrant is just waiting to be filled by you.” You decide that he really sucks at flirting and he must get by on reputation rather than actual wooing skills. Why are you thinking about this, and why do they keep talking? And why the hell are you so anxious?  
Danger. Oh right that’s why.

You glance at Vriska, she rolls her eye and blanches at Dave’s display, you grin in agreement but...

Damn it you’re tired of your friends being in danger. The game ends and what happens? Vriska starts hemorrhaging money everywhere and signs contracts with shadiest people ever not seen. Dave goes out hunting for the border of irony and incarceration just because he can. Seriously together you survived a freaking apocalypse and what is their first instinct? Shit let’s be dumb and suicidal herp derp.

Vriska makes a motion like she is shooting herself in the head. You would probably smile again if that wasn’t the exact kind of thing you were worried about.

She had told you that they threatened to take her eye or her arm and how that had made her laugh. The quiet one decided to grab her by the horns and slam her face into a table repeatedly. When the quiet one got bored of that they threw her into an alley to bleed to death. You had decided that was probably the most truthful of the stories she had told you. Even though she later said that particular story was a lie.

The thought that Vriska may be the most honest one of your friends is somewhat depressing. You would never mistrust her but you know that lying is part of who she is. But for Dave to be doing this he had to have had help. Terezi, Rose maybe even Jade, one of them had to have known but probably all of them did. But no one ever tells you anything. Why? Do they think you’re too weak? Or maybe too naïve?

They are afraid. Afraid of what? Of being judged. What judged by me? Of being disappointments. They’re my friends I would never be disappointed in any of them! Ever!

Are you not disappointed in them right now?

I-I okay this has gone on long enough. You step on Dave’s foot to get him to stop flirting. Well you had meant to just step on his foot, but you guess in your frustration you accidentally slammed down pretty hard.

anyway ill be back in town soon and if youre ever at clockworks i can put In a good word for- OW WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

Vriska giggles, which is honestly weird to hear instead of cackling. She is unaware of how the baggage check girl glares at you or the electricity in the air. Danger. This girl is about to turn you into a smear on the wall in about two seconds and you should probably try to do something to prevent your brutal liquidation.

sorry boss but can’t you chat up the pretty lady later? we do have a schedule to keep.  
yeah  
right  
sorry girl but i do have to get going you know how it is  


The static coursing through your bones dissipates and you exhale sharply suddenly calmed. Success. Dave has very clearly left the girl heartbroken but your too busy being alive to care about her feelings, breathing in all this wonderful stale station air like every breath is sweet candy that isn’t gushers.

>> Alright I think you should start explaining yourself. What do you think you’ll learn from this?  
> How to beat this game.  
>> But they didn’t the other timeline did.  
> The other timeline completed the game. This one beat it and I want to know how.  
>> I don’t understand.  
> Damn you’re an idiot. This right here. It isn’t the alpha timeline. Do you see any problem with that?  
>> Not really, I mean other than they are all doomed so I don’t really see the point in continuing to stalk them.  
> Exactly! Think about it if they really are doomed like you say they are, how were the able to create a functional universe?  
>> They...  
>> Shit how did I miss that?  


**Author's Note:**

> First fan fiction ever, it's fluffy, potentially has a large amount of chapters and truth be told I only have a rough idea of how to end this. There's pretty much no way this will not be a disaster, but should still be fun. Any advice,tips,what the hell do you think your doing's would be much appreciated.


End file.
